Oopsy Daisy
by Gotyu
Summary: A heart's an easy thing to break. Ikkazu
1. The Heart Break

**I can't apologise enough for the stupid delay in updates, i've been so busy working and trying to do 100 things at once. It's hard to even get online let alone write. :'( I wrote this as a one off but might continue, the other fics are suffering but to be totally honest I'm stuck with them, I've sat down and wrote chapters for each unfinished one but they don't work so haven't been added. I will get there, eventually.**

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You were so fucking tired, so angry with the fucking crow that you couldn't even think straight - each and every thought circling back and stabbing the imagine of Ikki in your mind. It wasn't like you didn't have any idea either, kissing him seemed to have been the most obvious way to display your feelings yet here you were watching Ikki swoon over yet another girl.

No, it wasn't just another girl, it was the same damn girl he'd been following around like a lost puppy for the last week. Sure you'd met her and genuinely didn't dislike anything she'd said or did whilst you'd been there but man you hated that chick; the stupid new girl with the stupid hair - pointed out countless times by a misreading Ikki that they shared a hair colour and you were just being mean.

You'd tried to be mean, without looking like a total obsessive you'd tried to get Ikki back, around him constantly striving for attention or just one smile that would tell him he was actually reading the whole situation wrong, that there was hope. But a week of constant coverage of the crow and constantly being shot down really wore you down, the Crow's usually wide grin turning to a sigh when you caught up with him broke your heart.

No, no that wasn't what broke it. You could pinpoint the second, the moment, that one point that broke everything;

Stood outside class waiting for Ikki to finish talking to that stupid new girl - of course you hadn't remembered her name, she'd be gone soon right? Rolling back and forth on your feet, head thudding from the lost hours of sleep, eyes begging to close but at the same time far to aware that they couldn't until things were right. Looking around the door for the hundredth time you felt your heart skip, one beat missed, one breath hitched and pained. Like watching a car crash and not being able to do a thing about it, not being able to even get involved and save people, not being able to make any kind of useful action as you're stuck behind the screen of the TV.

But it was worse, you were there and your eyes couldn't move, trapped in the movement of Ikki's lips on hers. The brunette had her pressed up against a desk, one hand on her waist and the other smugly on the desk surface. A smile cracking on his face, her eye's closed and arms wrapping slowly around his neck.

As the two's eyes opened they shared a look, that was when your heart had broken, that was something you'd never had.

Your eyes closed and you clutched your chest, stumbling away from the door and trying to breath, it hurt so fucking much! The stupid image now in his head replaying itself over and over again, as though you could forget that anytime soon, imprinting itself forever. You gasped, now leant on the wall, the only thing separating yourself from Ikki. You tried to find your breath, to stop that throbbing in your chest, to find your sight as your vision swayed.

It wasn't even like the kiss you'd shared with the crow was that special, it was more than a kiss to you but maybe Ikki had seen it differently? Maybe it was a game, like when you were kids and the crow would pull your hair, wrestle you to the ground and throw your school bag in the river, hide your keys so you couldn't get home. Maybe the kiss you'd had was a game? Make you feel on top of the world and then push you from the edge, the whole world impaling on your heart, everything the crow had ever said now having nothing to stand on, no proof of reality.

Maybe you were the game.

You could feel the hole where your heart had been, an empty thud painful and suffocating, another marking out a mere second since you'd looked away. And another, slow but there, the jagged pieces burying into your chest and jolting you with each breath, each flash of memory. Lungs feeling like they were breathing in liquid, with each breath things became worse.

"Kazu?"

Like a kiss could last forever, like he hadn't expected you to stand there waiting for him like you had since the day you'd become "friends". Like the surprise in his voice could be anything but cocky… yet he sounded worried, fucking worried that he'd just pulled the world from beneath your feet.

"Kazu?" A shake on the shoulder startled you and you blankly stare into his eyes, blinking back moisture that threatened to make things so much worse. You smacked his hand away like a fly, in the same motion wiping your eyes and stepping back into the corridor, shaking your head and trying to find some kind of words to string together that sounded human. Sounding human whilst dying inside.

"I'm off, catch you later..."

You muttered fast, eyes avoiding his, avoiding the girl that now stood behind the crow in the doorway, a hand delicately poised on his waist, not understanding the emotion on your face.

You turned and tried to remember how to walk, to turn your back on Ikki and walk out of there and home. It felt such a long way, an impossible distance to live through.

"Kazu…" He was there again, a hand on your elbow trying to read your face. He was usually so good at that but he hadn't seen this one before, hadn't got the sense or honesty to read it.

You shrugged him off and were glad that he didn't follow, you couldn't deal with it, not there. The pain in your chest intensified, that stupid wish that maybe the crow would understand what was wrong with you, wake up and feel some kind of remorse.

But no, he's not like that and never was. Isn't that why you liked the loud mouthed crow so much? Isn't that why you'd never given up trying to stop what was coming?

He broke your heart because you let him.


	2. Remembered

It wasn't that you'd forgotten the stupid blonde, everything had come along at once and Ringo had told you that you'd have to make a choice - and that's what you'd done, made a choice. Kazu was always going to be there, Suki was new, unpredictable and gorgeous. Kazu's blonde hair was something but on a girl it seemed so much more appealing, falling delicately in small ringlets to her waist and framing her perfectly pale face and light green eyes. You couldn't let an opportunity like that just pass by.

You knew Kazu would be upset, you'd probably have been upset if he hadn't but seeing his face like that… you couldn't read it, you didn't know what was going on. And to shrug you off so easily and walk away? That shirked you off, he must have seen it coming yet you couldn't get his face out of your mind.

Ringo had said to choose and that's what you'd done, chosen. Kazu would always be there… right? You were doubting yourself, doubting your infallibleness. It was ridiculous.

"You ok Ikki?" She was at your arm, her voice almost whispering in your ear, whatever perfume she wore was intoxicating. Not as it had been though- you'd had to kiss her, you'd had no choice, she'd pulled you right in and you'd been unable to pass up the chance. The thought of Suki had overwhelmed your mind all week but now Kazu's face was there, unexplained and giving you a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that felt oddly like guilt. You'd known all along and had avoided it, you'd tried to shake Kazu off and had expected him to gracefully leave the picture for a week or two, to give you time with Suki, time to see what you felt and to be able to make an honest choice between the two.

Maybe you'd expected too much? In your mind it had been so simple, like choosing between a pair of AT's, trying both and seeing which one you preferred the most. Not having to deal with something like the look on Kazu's face after obviously seeing you… in action so to speak. He'd flinched away from your touch as though in pain, his eyes dull and the blue spark lifeless, almost dead. You couldn't explain that, you couldn't have seen that coming.

"Yeah, just… I should be getting home." You can hear your voice yet at the same time it's not you, it's your body going through the motions, making a hasty retreat to give yourself time to think things through. Emotions aren't something you're good with, understanding them is like reading French, you didn't need a U grade to know that you couldn't do it. "Sorry, I totally forgot the time."

Suki's face drops and there's another twang of guilt, there are two people involved and you've been playing this like a game. Testing the waters before diving straight in at the deep end.

She's beautiful, everything you'd want in a girl and more, everything you'd fallen in love with on the posters around your room at least. It was to much to deal with, your mind had spent the last two weeks twisting around that… that kiss. You didn't even like to think about it, you'd kissed a guy. A guy, your best friend.

If anyone had seen or knew what had happened he could never live it down, Suki was there to sway any question of his sexuality and to confirm that he was completely male. Like those poster's on his room…

Kazu had kissed you, it wasn't like you'd even instigated it or given any kind of sign, you'd had no part in that at all.

That stupid guilt was now burying deep into your stomach, making you wish the ground would just swallow you up or simply knock some sense into you so you could understand why the hell Kazu had looked like that.

You're thinking back, remembering the same old routine of going to practice after school and walking back to your house with Kazu to get some food and chill out. Kazu in your kitchen watching you work your way through the fridge, he'd been acting odd even then but he often did, never talking through what went on in that mind of his.

You'd turned from the fridge, slamming the door in frustration at the lack of meat and muttering about how the girls should learn to be women and shop. Kazu murmuring about how they'd kill you if they'd heard you say that, that you could easily pick up groceries on the way back from school for them, it wasn't their fault that you were such a pig.

He was right of course but it was fun to wind him up as well as Ringo and the girls, you knew they'd forgive you for anything. Almost.

Kazu started muttering about leaving and that he has loads of school work to catch up with, strange for someone who half the time couldn't give a damn so you start to pick holes in what he's said. Smile as you see his skin redden, his eyes skirt around the floor embarrassed as you try to meet eye contact - something you know he hates.

You can't remember what you said but you remember his face, so many emotions crossing his brow - anger, embarrassment, confusion, that hint of the emotion you can't yet read, shyness, anger again.

His eyes blazed and you pushed him back against the counter, grabbing his thin wrist as he lifts a hand to swat your head, catching his other as he complains that you really can be an arse sometimes. Trying to catch his eyes again as he squirms in your grip, he started babbling but you weren't listening.

You stop dead, Suki still staring at your back, you can feel her there but don't move. Stuck in the memory.

You remembered it wrong, you'd blamed Kazu but it was you who'd leant in first, the moment Kazu had given up and the redness on his face had begun to die away in defeat. You remember his face, the same old exasperated look that he always held when you were like that, his eyes turning up wearily to meet yours and blinking as though confused. But only for a moment.

You'd moved in to kiss him but he was the one who'd closed the small gap, his lips soft against yours and for just a second slow, wary. You returned the kiss in the same way, feeling yourself frown slightly and confusion darting across your brain like a lightning bolt. He took your response as acceptance and the kiss was suddenly hard and needy, his wrists trying to free themselves still in your grip. You let them go and he wrapped his arms around your neck just as Suki had done, but he was stronger that her and his grip was fierce.

You found your arms at his waist, gripping his shirt and the skin beneath, knuckles whitening as you were sucked into the action. Eyes staring as his closed lids, concentration and frustration sharing the space.

It stopped the second his eyes opened. As your eyes met the world swayed.

It was wrong. But you'd started it.

Ringo had said to choose, how had she even known? At least she wouldn't tell anyone, at least she was genuinely worried rather than disgusted, sickened by what had happened.

And then there was Suki, a distraction from the embarrassment of the kiss, of letting Kazu run out of there after seeing that look on your face. You wanted to avoid it, to make it disappear and never be mentioned again and Kazu had seemed so willing.

He'd waited for you to walk to school the next day, something so normal that it was only the slightest bit awkward. He didn't mention it so neither did you, and that's how things had gone on, don't mention it and it won't have happened. You didn't even stop to think about how he must have felt cause hell, you didn't want to.

You take a breath and turn back to Suki, forcing yourself to deal with what was happening in the now, forcing the image of that look of Kazu's face to the back of your mind.

"Sorry. I've got to deal with him…" Did that sound wrong? Why did it matter so much? Why the hell were you blushing? "I swear as soon as I've worked this out I'll call you… okay?"

She nods slowly so you smile weakly and jog down the corridor.

Damn.


	3. Mortification

He didn't want to think about it. He wanted his body to guide itself home, autopilot taking over so he didn't have to think, didn't have to see the world moving around him whilst he was only just clinging on.

But everything carried on like it always did, he was far to receptive to the conversations of people around him as he walked through town, the traffic droning into his mind as each car sped past, the smell of them more apparent than he'd ever remembered. He'd thought the world had stopped but no, it was just Kazu.

His eyes kept watering, his mind flittering between anger and desolation so quickly that he couldn't be sure how he felt. Fists clenching and unclenching, knuckles white.

Kazu was aware of each step he took, how long they seemed to take and how his body seemed sluggish and awkward as though holding him back. He didn't know what he would do when home but right now he didn't know anywhere he'd rather be.

His mind kept questioning itself, going over the image of Ikki and that girl, over Ikki's face when he'd come out of the classroom, over their own kiss and how he'd really fucked up everything. It hadn't even been planned, he'd spent the previous week trying to drive those idiotic thoughts from his mind, sick with himself for feeling something more than friendship towards the crow in the first place. He didn't know what had made him close the gap to kiss the guy, he didn't know why Ikki had returned it or why he'd suddenly given up. The look on his face…

It seemed like forever but finally he was walking down his street, without the traffic and constant flow of people he suddenly felt alone and cold. Goose bumps running along his arms and the air hard to breath. He wasn't drowning in it anymore though, it just tasted bitter and thick, reminding him that everything would just go on like it always did.

Like after that stupid kiss, after he'd left Ikki's house and walked home and felt utterly ridiculous. After he'd spent a whole night awake thinking about what was going to happen, walking to his house the next day as he always did and realising that he wasn't even going to bring it up. Everything would go on like it did after that.

Kazu stopped, his feet stumbling on themselves, he took a deep breath and closing his eyes shook his head. It was so Ikki to do that, he shouldn't have been surprised, hurt, shocked, he'd seen it coming hadn't he? He tried to shake that stupid feeling away, his heart wasn't broken, it was still beating wasn't it? He could live through that, he could go to school the next day and carry on like normal couldn't he?

He'd done it so many times before that it was normal, he shouldn't have acted like he did, he should have been happy for Ikki and let him do whatever the hell he wanted to with that chick. Kazu would always be in the shadow of the crow.

He concentrated on his breathing again, feeling the thoughts calming himself, feeling his heart begin to feel more like a heart and less like an empty hole in his chest. He could live through this, he could live through whatever the crow did - it was ridiculous to think otherwise.

One more shake to clear the kissing image from his head and he opened his eyes.

"I…Ikki?"

The blonde stumbled back, heart forgetting to relax and suddenly in his throat, tight and panicked. The crow could have at least given him the night to learn to deal with it, the blonde couldn't even deal with himself right now.

Ikki had that same look on his face, confusion mixed with worry as he gripped the blondes arm to stop him stumbling to far back. To close for Kazu to feel comfortable with.

It had seemed that the need to go home couldn't have been greater but right now he'd give anything to be there. Alone.

"What's the deal?"

Ikki's harsh tone cut through the tension like a knife, the grip on Kazu's arm almost painful as though scared the blonde would just slip through his grip. Afraid to let go. Kazu opened his mouth but words failed him, his mind was just looking for an escape, trying to avoid the situation and how utterly embarrassing it was yet common sense prevailing, knowing that the only way out of there was some kind of explanation that didn't include the embarrassing mention of a broken heart.

"I… thought I'd give you some space."

The blonde muttered quietly, eyes looking at the crow's shoes and tracing the outline on the ground over and over again. Making his eyes busy so he didn't have to look up at him or face them welling up again. He knew it was stupid, it wasn't worth it for the amount of times he'd found himself reading the situation wrong, feeling utterly humiliated, lost in Ikki.

The crow scoffed and shook Kazu hard, the blonde glanced up for just a second but long enough to feel a jab of guilt in stomach, Ikki's face didn't change, the confusion was almost painful.

It wasn't even like it was an uncommon expression on the crow who seemed to live his life in a constant puzzlement with the world, that expression that made him look like he was always ten steps behind everyone else.

"You could have just said that."

"Didn't want to embarrass you."

Kazu went red, more than a blush as he felt his face burning fiercely.

"Embarrass me?" Ikki sighed and let go of Kazu, stepping away and running a hand through his hair. He turned in a circle, his back facing Kazu for a moment before he turned to him again, sighing once more and gritting his teeth. "I know what this is about."

Kazu kept his mouth shut, hoping to God he was wrong. His silence seemed to be the only confirmation the crow needed, Ikki growled angrily - at himself or the blonde? Kazu couldn't decide.

"That… kiss, right?"

He spoke the words slowly, empathising the one word that had been gnawing in Kazu's mind for the last two weeks. Empathising it with distain. Kazu couldn't suppress the anger that made him in turn take a step back, anger that the crow had returned it, anger that he'd said nothing in the whole time since.

"What the hell do you mean?"

The blonde wanted to spit, to punch that stupid egotistical maniac in the head. But Ikki was still looking confused, looking around as though lost for a moment, eyes flicking back to Kazu every few seconds.

"Well…" he looked straight at the blonde now, the gaze almost tearing right into him. "Why'd you do it?"

As if things couldn't get worse! It was like the world enjoyed playing jokes on him, see how much pain poor Kazu could endure before he literally went mad.

"You were going to kiss me." He said quickly, the words so close together they seemed like one. "I…." Ikki just stared, his eyes so dark and criticizing, he didn't say anything, just waiting for a further explanation. Kazu stepped back. "I don't know." He lied.

He knew exactly why, the reason was clear every single time he so much as saw Ikki and his heart sped up slightly, when his face flushed when Ikki teased him and why he didn't mind being pushed around because wrong or not - he liked the closeness.

Ikki growled, completely oblivious as per usual.

"I just don't get it, you think this is some kind of joke?" The crow's voice raised slightly, his fists clenching repeatedly before pointing at Kazu sharply. "You knew I liked Suki and I knew damn well you didn't like that, do you get off on trying to make girls hate me or something?"

Kazu rolled his eyes, his voice suddenly finding gusto. "You honestly, HONESTLY think I've been trying to stop the whole new girl thing you seem to have going? I just walked away from that, jeez…" He pulled his hat off and began fiddling with it, keeping his hands busy to stop them lashing out at Ikki. "You're the one that came after me, you just left her to come and ask me stupid questions that I recon you already know the fucking answer to!… You're just to bloody stupid to realise what's going on!"

He spun on his heel and walked away, breathing deep as he tried to drive the black spots of rage from behind his eyes away. Head swimming over the crow's words before the feeling of smugness that Ikki had not continued following him, glad that he'd probably left the idiot thoroughly confused.

It wasn't until he realised he was heading away from home and corrected his path that he tried to remember what he himself had said, hoping to god that the words he remembered weren't actually said out loud.

Maybe he'd just made the whole thing a hundred times worse?

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**Really hope that's not to confusing? I've reread it a few times and I'm hoping it works, just posting it whilst I've got a spare minute.  
Thank you so much for the reviews and watches, if I didn't have them I wouldn't post so yeah... reviews welcome, good or bad!**


	4. Priorities

**I completely get where Ikki's coming from time management wise *sigh***

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You growled as you watched the blonde walking away again, one huge part of you wanting to follow and knock some of your own sense into him but your mind still wheeling over what he'd said, trying to work out what the hell he'd meant. Too stupid to work out what's going on… what the hell did that mean? As far as you were aware the only thing going on was Kazu's weirdness.

It was amazing you had the ability to backtrack as so many things seemed to be going down right now, there'd been so many team races recently so you'd had to double up with the training. Suki had been constantly in your mind which was hard enough, trying to blink through the haze of how good she looked and smelt whilst trying to organise a team into something you could be proud of. And to make matters worse there were damn exams going on! Usually they wouldn't have mattered but these were to determine the classes you could take the following year - if you wanted any sort of chance of being placed with all your friends you were really going to have to take the studying thing seriously rather than using the time as an excuse to catch up on sleep. Cause damn, that wasn't going well either! With so much going round in the brain of yours you were finding it hard to shut things out and just get some shut eye. And then there was Kazu on top of EVERYTHING else.

All of that buzzing round your mind yet you were able to backtrack, remembering what you'd realised only half an hour earlier - you'd been playing Kazu and Suki like a game. You hadn't had the time to take both single situations seriously. They were events in the diary of your mind, ticked off one by one as they came and went, your mind forgetting to stop and take them in and instead gliding right past.

Now you were watching Kazu disappear, shoulders hunched in his familiar angry stride, hat pulled back over his head covering his ears that were in no doubt bright red. You sighed loudly, anger draining as the pit of your stomach dropped with that unforgettable feeling of guilt.

You weren't to stupid to work out what was going on, you just didn't want to say it out loud or have to face it - there wasn't the time and damn, you sure as hell didn't want to. Everything in your life was moving at once, all at different speeds and in various directions making it hard to keep a firm grip on anything you weren't holding on to.

Digging finger nails into your skin to convince yourself it wasn't the time to go after the blonde, you began walking back home, mind fighting a silent battle with itself - guilt versus how busy you'd been lately, how you just didn't have the time for what had happened with Kazu, you'd hardly spent time at all with him recently but it wasn't really your fault, things were happening. The look on his pale face when he'd seen you kissing Suki, the surprise you'd felt despite knowing that it was going to happen, knowing that Kazu was stood only a couple of metres away and was bound to get frustrated with having to wait.

But Kazu was a guy right? He should have hi-fived you for scoring with the hottest chick at school!

You unblocked that barrier in your mind for a moment, letting a different kiss come in, Kazu's kiss. Kazu's neediness, keenness, how he'd suddenly got guts and didn't seem to care if someone had walked in. Kazu had been fierce, determined and direct - something you hadn't seen in him before. It scared you as much as when he'd seen you with Suki, it scared you for the exact same reason as well, the reason being that you didn't know why it scared you. Both times had terrified you, your best friend you'd known for years had changed so utterly and completely and for once you weren't able to attach any control to the situation. Kazu always had these huge walls around himself, creating a barrier so no one could see his weaknesses yet at the same time the barrier being the cause of it's apparentness to Ikki. He'd let that barrier drop for just a few seconds, trusting Ikki explicitly yet being mortifyingly disappointed.

Your thoughts are cut as you hear someone calling your name, looking ahead you see Ringo further up the street - she must have just got off the bus. Again reality and the speed of the day catches up and you wake up to the world once more. You're nearly home now but she stops to wait for you, her face smiling sympathetically - it makes your heart beat slightly offbeat as you for whatever stupid reason told her about Kazu and ever since she's been trying to "help" you with it. She could be such a girl sometimes.

"Hey."

"Hey Ikki." She waves and you let out a small sigh, jogging the last few paces to her side and trying to think of something to say before she said anything that she'd no doubt think was encouraging. You were still trying to push back other thoughts from your mind, you had all night to think about it.

"Man I'm beat. How was work?" Your voice is obviously off, you've never been good at hiding emotions and right now you sound lost, confused with your own thoughts and somewhat mad about the whole thing. Maybe she'd just put it down to you being tired, you knew how much of a grump you could be if you missed even an hours sleep.

"You need to cut back." She walks with you, turning into your street and looking up to see the house halfway down. "You need to prioritise."

She could have meant so many things and doubtless she knew it, her eyes stayed off you as you shot a look to try and judge what she meant. Prioritise. What the hell would come first? For once in your life exams popped into your head trying to wrestle Suki and Kazu aside but instantly being shoved down the line. Prioritise.

Ringo was looking at you again, she was worrying, you wait till your at the steps to the house before sighing again and sitting at the bottom of them. How much worse could things get? The worse she'd say would be what you'd been thinking, best scenario is that she'd choose for you but of course you knew life wasn't that easy.

"I don't know what to do." You look up at her hopefully, redness tinting your face and ears expecting her to be surprised. Relief that she didn't.

"I'm guessing you mean about Kazu?" She asked quietly, sitting beside you and giving a reassuring smile. "Did you talk to him?"

You explain what happened, the whole Suki situation and Kazu's face, how guilty you felt. Feel. You don't have a clue what your thinking and can't make a choice, things should never have gotten this difficult.

You're shocked as she laughs shortly, she shook her head. "You know no one can make that choice for you." She said, your looking at the floor now, wondering why it wouldn't swallow you and where that phrase even came from. "But you shouldn't care about what people think." You open your mouth to comment but she cut in before you could. "I know you're thinking about what other people think, and I know you feel bad about it but that's something that you can deal with after you've made your choice. You shouldn't base your choice on it."

She was right of course, it was your ego leading the way on that one. But it was such a big thing, it would effect everything else in your life so surely it should help in some way to make your decision?

Sighing you stand and force a smile.

"Thank Ringo, I'll sleep on it."


	5. Turmoil

**Thank you for the messages you've sent asking for this to be continued, I'm sure with all the fics you've read that you've heard it a thousand times but - i'm sorry for not updating. You know how life gets :)  
The chapter you are about to read is only short but better short than non existent... right? I would really like to continue this, it was only even meant to be one chapter but it does lend itself to going a lot further and when I can get the time I shall try to resume updates. The Ikkazzu fics on here are so sweet, there really aren't enough so if you are reading and haven't wrote one - please do ;)  
x**

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Kazu had a lot to think about and as sleep seemed unlikely he also had a lot of time to think. Right now he was thinking past exams about what he was going to do afterwards, until now he'd always thought he'd just cruise along the road he'd always been on. Life had felt like something that stretched endlessly into the horizon, a straight road with things as they had been before everything had gone weird with Ikki. AT's, school, friends… He'd suddenly realised how quickly things had changed.

He'd always had a routine, knew what to expect and usually had someone else to guide him. Be it Ayaka, his mum and dad when they were around, school teachers, even friends… but now it was like he was suddenly out in the open having to fend and make all these decisions alone.

When you're young you never think to much about the future, other than wanting to be something ridiculous like an astronaut or planning your next birthday and wondering how big your cake would be or who'll you'll invite to the next party. You don't think about being alone, worrying that if you don't pass your next exam you'll be left behind, worrying about each word you say in case it lands you in something you'd have preferred avoiding.

Friends always felt like they'd be there but now the ground beneath their team, their whole dynamics were faltering and threatening to break apart. Yes, the team had been practicing madly for weeks, yes, they'd seen enough of each other to actually want to be apart, but at the same time the strain was showing.

Everyone was overloaded with work, everyone was worrying about what the next month would bring and then the next year and then the terrifying prospect of what came after that. Things that had always seemed so small were now like oceans of fear, responsibilities seemed to have jumped on them from no where.

Kazu had snapped at Ayaka when she'd asked him about school work and exams, he knew he shouldn't have but with everyone going on and on about them constantly at school it was infuriating to get home and hear it again. Plus he was terrified she'd ask about the team, or more precisely; Ikki. That was something he most definitely didn't want bringing up.

That was another change - everyone now seemed to be coupling up and dating, like a trend had just kicked off that meant it was pathetic to be alone. It was the worse possible time for those stupid feelings for Ikki to come up, the worse possible time for Suki to arrive as well.

Kazu was laying on his bed, eyes staring intently at the ceiling and trying to mark out some kind of pattern on the plain whiteness. Tracing his eyes around the light and blinking back the image of the bulb that seemed to have burnt itself into his vision.

That stupid kiss with Suki, that was also there, now illuminated and replaying itself like the first song you hear in the morning. He couldn't shake it off.

Growling he rolled onto his side and pulled his hat further over his ears. He'd usually have taken it off but he felt cold and goose bumps were surfacing on his arms. His stomach was filled with nervous butterflies that begged his mind to think on something else, force itself backwards instead on into the terrifying ocean ahead.

For the first time in months he was finding it really hard without his parents there, he couldn't have talked to them about any of this yet his mother's hugs and his dads seriousness was something he could rely on, something that never changed. Ayaka had taken up another job so she seemed to be working pretty much all the time, and then when he saw her he went and screwed that up by snapping, probably meaning that she'd avoid him until she was sure he'd settled down again... With Kazu's mood swings he knew that could take a while.

Kazu knew he got wound up far to easily, things shouldn't bother him like this as he was the only one that seemed to be getting hurt. It was just so easy to forget that his anger wouldn't solve a thing. It always seemed the only thing he had in defence, he could run away like a coward or he could ball his fists up and shout his voice raw.

Sighing he rolled off his bed and to his feet, he wanted to feel the road beneath his AT's, something he knew damn well was under his control.

He scooted under his bed to find them and pulled them out, making a mental note to buy new wheels before his wore away to nothing. He'd have bought a new pair if he could have afforded it but there was no way his parents would send him money for something they'd disprove of so aggressively. He hadn't found his way round to telling them about it yet, partly down to the laziness of not wanting to repeat the same thing over and over again as there was no way they'd understand it straight off. Being over forty seemed to do that to people.

Also he knew they'd disprove, it was an extreme sport and he couldn't deny the dangers. Also being in a team to them would be the exact same thing as being in a gang, especially with battles and people get hurt…

He strapped on his AT's, usually he'd have done it on the porch but he just couldn't find the will power to walk down stairs, open the door and sit in the cold doing it. Instead he slid the window open and jumped out into the night.

At least without parents being around and his sister surely pissed, he didn't technically have a curfew. He also didn't have anywhere to go but right now it didn't seem like that, it seemed like with the wheels humming contently beneath his feet, he had everywhere to go.

* * *

**Writing the emotions and turmoil Kazu is going through with school, friends and family reminds me so much of being at school and facing exams and the future. I hated it at the time but looking back I wish I'd have apprieciated it more, ofcourse everyone wants to go back as they are now opposed to their high school self so I guess it wouldn't quite work ;)  
Please review, I was going to leave the story but messages and reviews brought me back to life.  
x**


	6. The Friend Of My Enemy

**The Friend Of My Enemy  
If you're following but haven't reviewed please please do, I'm feeling very emotional about only having 9 reviews lol. If I suck tell me, I don't mind :) **

* * *

The sound of wheels on tarmac and the distance resonance of the cars on the freeway hummed in his mind, he tried to concentrate on the sound to erase everything else that seemed to be filing up his thoughts, trying to focus on his speed and balance.

Riding Air Treks was one of Kazu's greatest pleasures in life, now he had them he didn't quite know how he'd ever coped without. Whilst riding he could wipe his mind of everything else in the world and just see the road after, vast and straight and begging to be ridden. He'd race anything that came along, alone he found himself childishly trying to lose his own shadow and to beat the setting sun from disappearing behind the warehouses ahead. The cold chill of the air making him feel alive and for just the night he had something he could achieve and not worry about, a cheap escape to laying in bed letting his thoughts drive him mad.

He'd been at it a good hour before a bugging sensation told him he was being watched, shirked off he spared a glance over to a bench on the far side of the empty lot and growled inwardly. He knew he was a good rider, he knew he was fast and had earned his place on the team but being on the team had also lost him that sense of privacy.

If he had a list of worst people to see at that moment in time then admittedly the guy wouldn't have made it, Ikki would have obviously been in the top spot followed closely by a guy that knew exactly how to press his buttons and get under his skin. A guy that always seemed to turn up at times like this; Sano.

It wasn't either of them, it was Damien. Best friend of his enemy yet Sano wasn't there, none of the guys friends were there - he just sat there alone watching Kazu as he sped up and down almost unseen to the eye. Kazu growled inwardly, the guy could fuck well off.

He slowed to a stop, taking a breath before rolling over to the bench glaring. "Did you want something?" Kazu asked, feeling the cold creeping over his arms now that he'

d stopped, digging his hands into his pockets whilst trying to repress a shiver. Glare still held firmly in place.

The guy shook his head, eyeing Kazu up and down before speaking. "I just came to watch, heard you'd had a spat with the crow." He rolled his eyes at Kazu's expression of annoyance. "Yeah, it was Sano… not really sure where he gets the info, he's like a gossip girl."

Kazu coughed a laugh and sat down, the anger rolling away, sometimes life gave you lemons… he was never quite sure how the phrase ended but there never seemed anything overly special about lemons, although if you squirted them in someone's eyes long enough it would sure to stop their whining.

He was in no doubt of how the news of Ikki and his argument had gotten out, speaking of gossip girls had the one girl he couldn't help hating popping into his head. Suki. The story would no doubt of had a spin in it in favour it Ikki, a spin that had Kazu certain that he would have a queue of girls waiting to tell him off for whatever monstrosity he'd inflicted on the poor crow.

"So we had an argument and you decide to come watch me skate?" Kazu eyed Damien suspiciously, looking under the bench and behind his shoulder. "Sano set you up to this didn't he?"

It was Damien's turn to laugh now, amused by the show Kazu was putting on. "No, he's at some house party. From what I got from him you should really start worrying first thing tomorrow morning." He winked.

Kazu rolled his eyes but once more was suspicious. "So… point still standing, why are you here?"

To be fair on the guy he didn't really know him, it was probably like when people viewed

Kogarasumaru from outside and only saw Ikki, the other members of the group were parts of a frame to the centre piece. People who knew Kazu outside of school knew him because he was the blonde kid that knew the crow and that usually meant the only thing they spoke to him about was the crow.

Damien wasn't so much of a shadow in Behemoth, he was just one of the cogs that helped the larger cogs go round. They weren't as outrageously in your face as Ikki but still held that same team dynamics of the front man being leader and the followers behind.

"To be honest with you the house party Sano's at didn't have my name on the list, or rather the guy whose holding it would beat me to a pulp if I went near the place. I'm bored out of my head and happened to find you… nothing overly thrilling I'm afraid."

Damien sighed and leant back on the bench, legs stretch in front of him, his AT's jet black and the wheels almost as worn as Kazu's.

The blonde shrugged. "I'm beat, just don't really fancy heading home." He eyed the time on his phone, surprised to see it was already 2am yet his bed wasn't remotely calling to him.

Damien stood, his AT's slowly humming beneath his feet. "Let's head into town, I'm sure we can grab a drink somewhere..." He dug a hand in his pocket and sighed loudly. "Not that I have any money."

Kazu stood and let his AT's glid back down the path.

"I'll pay."

* * *

The sun burnt through his bedroom curtains making his eyes ache and his head throb, his alarm clock was beeping insistently just out of reach on his desk and Ayaka was in the kitchen downstairs singing. It was to early, way to early.

Rolling over to a sitting position Kazu forced his eyes to focus at the time.

7am.

He vaguely remembered throwing an AT at the alarm at some point, it had either met it's mark or he'd slept through an hour of the damn thing going off. Either way he felt like shit, why the hell was it a school day?

Last night had been surprisingly fun, Damien was in college yet they got on pretty well and had spent most of the night skating through town, he'd crashed back at home at around five in the morning so two hours sleep was definitely not alright with him. Especially if he had to deal with Ikki and the possibility of Sano that day.

Screw it. He trudged over to the alarm and switched it off then headed straight back to bed.

* * *

"Where's Kazu?"

"How should I know?"

"Because you walk to school with him… oh right, you had an argument."

Ikki glared at Emiri as though it were entirely her fault, she shrunk back and turned a shade of crimson he hadn't seen on her before. She muttered something before turning to go back to her desk, Ikki caught her arm.

"What did you say?" She looked petrified, a deer in the headlights, a very angry deer in the headlights. Ikki sighed and let go. "I didn't hear you."

"I said I know what he's like," she couldn't quite meet his eye line, he was surprised she'd said anything at all, if Kazu wasn't in the vicinity Emiri tended to be a mute around the crow. "I don't think he'd get into a fight with you…"

Ikki cut her off. "It wasn't a fight, it was an argument."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think he'd get into an argument with you," she looked him full on this time and glared, "unless you were partial responsible for whatever made him start it in the first place."

With that she turned and headed back to her desk, Ikki stared after her but she didn't look over again. She kept watching the door for the blonde to walk through, the bell would ring any minute yet no one had seen him since the day before.

Ikki wasn't all together to worried, Kazu had been pretty pissed off and his anger issues didn't help the matter, he was however surprised that Ayaka had let him bunk off. His report card last semester had seemingly put a halt to the blondes truant days after a stern talking to by Ayaka and a threat of parental intervention. If his parents had got involved who knew what would have happened, they could have taken him with them on whatever business trips in whatever country they were headed. Even Ikki had gotten serious about it.

The bell went and Tom-Tom walked in, eyes viewing the room nervously and falling on the one empty desk that illuminated Kazu's absence. Her eyes panned to Ikki who sighed.

"I don't know."

* * *

It was almost lunch by the time the blonde finally appeared, Ikki was daydreaming out of the window and the boys blonde hair caught his attention. Strolling slowly across the school yard in conversation with someone, not seeming at all bothered by the lateness of the day or at all worried about the response of his teachers when they caught him.

Ikki found it incredibly easy to be mad at the blonde yet it always seemed to end up being less mad and more worried, mad with worry to put it more precisely. The blonde drove him crazy, especially after the whole Suki thing which had been blown way out of proportion, he was trying to avoid even thinking about. If this little stunt was in response to that then the kid had one huge lecture on maturity coming his way… from the crow. He frowned and shook himself, things must have been bad.

He tried to make out the guy walking with Kazu, he was taller and looked maybe a few years older. Familiarity hung in the air yet Ikki couldn't place why, probably one of his many fans trying to get the inside scoop from the blonde. Kazu hated it when people did that yet the amusement never cessed to entertain Ikki.

No, that wasn't it. They were walking to close and Kazu wasn't trying to lose the guy, they were wrapped up in conversation like good friends, as they got closer to the school Ikki could just make out Kazu's laugh filtering through the silent class room. For some reason it really shirked him off, if Kazu was late to school because of the crow it would have been understandable to him, annoying yet it would have made sense. Being late to school because of his new dark haired buddy fucked Ikki right off, Kazu couldn't have gotten over their argument so quickly.

The bell sounded and the classroom became an ocean of noise, chairs scraping the floor as the class rushed off leaving Ikki contemplating what Kazu was laughing about.

* * *

**Ikki angst. Love it. **


	7. Next Contestant

Kazu heard the bell ringing for lunch and smiled, he hadn't liked the idea of walking into class halfway through and having to explain his absence so the onset of the lunch hour simplified things. He could always deny his absence and hope they'd put it down to Tom-Tom's scantiness rather than the fact that Kazu had been up most of the night, he didn't much see the point of going to school a zombie so the sleep in had seemed a good idea.

He'd got up around ten and grabbed his skates and schoolbag, thankful that Ayaka was working so he didn't have to go through another one of her lectures on time management and responsibility. He did however notice a post-it on the kitchen table with his name outlined in bright red capital letters making it look more like a warning than one of her "have a good day" notes she sometimes left. He'd avoided reading it, he was actually in a reasonably good mood so didn't fancy ruining it as soon as he'd managed to pull himself out of bed.

He was going to meet up with Damien after school and try some new track the elder teen had found on the other side of town, the niggling thought of Ikki had been pushed right to the back of his mind but he couldn't help feeling guilty for ignoring the issue altogether, yet if the crow had been bothered maybe he would have at least called to find out why he wasn't sat in class. He hadn't called, hadn't text, hadn't even got anyone else to ask where he was - confirmation of how blind and pig ignorant Ikki really was.

Another issue he'd pushed to the back of his mind had been the warning Damien had given him about a certain Iron Clock paying him a visit, maybe it was because he never given Sano the time of day but he'd completely forgotten. The first he knew about it was when the brown haired college boy had suddenly appeared by his side halfway to school looking extremely smug with a mock look of concern plastered across his face.

He could never prepare himself for the annoyance of having to deal with the guy, he just crept right under the blonde's skin with inappropriate comments lined up to shoot at him again and again. He wasn't sure whether it was because Sano loved how easy he was to wind up or whether he actually did have a thing for the blonde, either way it was creepy just how persistent he was.

He had sighed as Sano skated silently along, waiting for Kazu to speak, no doubt curious with whatever insult he'd decide to throw.

"You can fuck right off."

Not entirely original he knew yet simple words were needed for simple problems, he could have no doubt sat down and spent the time to think of insults to throw at Sano next time he crawled out of his hole yet he knew whatever he threw would just fall on deaf ears. That much was clear.

"Not in the bests of moods Kazu?" The clock had almost purred, his smug grin almost breaking through his obvious worried façade. "Why ever would that be?"

Kazu had stopped and looked up at him in disbelief, the guy could be so fucking dense.

"You know what, I'm actually in a really good mood. Apart from being late for school I reckon today is going to be pretty damn good." He'd smiled the sourest smile he could muster and had set off walking again, letting the smug feeling of satisfaction wash over as Sano's face turned from cocky to confused.

It had taken a moment for the clock to catch up, left in his own stupor trying to gather the info and file it with what he already knew.

"You made up with the crow then?" He had had that look on his face, the one he held when Ikki defended Kazu and made him back off, the look of disappointment that spoke more about Sano's feelings than his words ever did. "After what he said?"

Kazu had stopped again. "What?" He turned round, now he actually was angry. "How the hell would you know what he said?" The thought of Ikki blabbing the whole story across school had sent a shiver down his spine, his heart had beat painfully once more as a cold feeling of betrayal had swept over. Surely he wouldn't have done something so cruel.

"Ok so I don't know what he said, but it's pretty damn obvious what it was about!" Sano had glared at the blonde, conveying his thoughts through his painful stare. "He's a fucking jerk, it might have taken you a while to catch on but don't be angry at me about it." He'd taken a deep breath, snapping out of the rare moment of seriousness before settling back into his cocky self. "If you need some break up loving…" He'd winked and quickly dodged the blow Kazu had sent his way.

The guy was disgusting, there had only been one person in Kazu's eyes and that had always been the crow, he might not have always known it but years of his attention always falling on that one person had finally given him understanding. The thought of anyone else made him sick, it seemed unnatural not to have Ikki, to feel the way he did about the crow but to feel it for someone else… it felt wrong.

"Just… go away." Kazu had sighed, pulling his hat down over reddening ears and walking again, thoughts of Ikki and how screwed things were now resurfacing in his mind. "I was in a good mood till you showed up."

Sano had followed silently for a minute, a step behind and the wheels of his AT's silent against the tarmac of the road. It was oddly disconcerting for the Iron Clock not to be continuing his assault of inappropriate comments. What he said next had surprised him.

"I don't know why you let him do it to you." He'd muttered, barely audible words tainted with distain.

Kazu had thought about it for a mere second. "You put up with me constantly shooting you down yet here you are, still on my back."

It was weird, in a way the situations were actually quite similar. Kazu followed Ikki around just like Sano followed Kazu, maybe that was why Ikki was so fed up with him… maybe that's why he'd started avoiding the blonde. After all, it was really annoying.

"At least you actually pay attention." Sano shot back. "Unless you grow boobs and a nice fat arse then I don't think he's going to be changing his feelings anytime soon at any rate."

Kazu had stopped for the third time, dead in his tracks, head spinning. What the fuck? He'd spun round to bark the first insult in his head yet Sano had already begun skating away in the opposite direction looking thoroughly pissed off. His words fell on dead air.

"Yeah? Well… fuck off."

There had been no point even shouting after him, he was right. Kazu had always known there hadn't been a chance yet desperate disbelief had already brought him this far, if he'd given up on it then his whole world would have shattered. Ikki held it all together, kept him himself together. Without Ikki he was nothing, Ikki would merely lose his shadow.

He'd growled inwardly, annoyed at letting Sano wind him up even if it had been unintentional, it must have been the shortest encounter he'd ever had with the guy. And probably the weirdest, that was saying quite a lot seeing as some of the stuff that came out of the clocks lips always seemed so unbearably foul.

Kazu had set off again, mind back on Ikki and no longer mindful of the time slipping past as the day ticked on. Usually he'd have stood his ground until the crow had eventually spat out an angry apology that neither believed to be true yet he'd have been forgiven and life would have gone on as usual. This time was different and if the crow didn't know that then what did they have?

Kazu had been panicking, he didn't want to lose Ikki, he couldn't go through it yet here he was bitter with the words they'd both said to one another, angry that Ikki hadn't bothered to even find out where the blonde was.

He'd been walking through town and passed one of the coffee shops along the way, not really aware of anything other than the fact that he was walking and his mind was on Ikki. Unaware that Damien had come out of the coffee shop and jogged to catch up with the blonde. Kazu had jumped as Damien appeared beside him.

"Hey, you deaf?" Damien had frowned at the zoned out expression on Kazu's face but rolled his eyes as Kazu snapped out of his mindless thoughts and smiled weakly. "Man you look beat, you just got up?"

"Yeah." The blonde had yawned as though to demonstrate the fact. "Meant to be at school… don't you have college?" Kazu had then stopped to talk to him, unsure whether Damien was with people or heading somewhere else, it seemed rude to continue walking.

"Technically yeah, as long as the works done they don't really mind though." Damien was holding a paper coffee cup, noticing how Kazu's eyes kept drifting to it. "You want to grab a drink? You're late already, few minutes won't hurt."

The blonde had agreed, his good mood dispelled into a rather more sombre one which didn't really mind about the amount of trouble he'd be in with Ayaka, he knew he needed to confront Ikki at some point but he sure as hell wasn't going to go rushing into it. A few minutes here and there wouldn't hurt.

And now he'd finally turned up at school, chatting to Damien about getting some new wheels from his air treks as his were going square, not really aware of being in the school grounds until the bell made its way through their conversation.

"I've got a fucking awful day, boring essay to write and thanks to you I'll no doubt have Sano whining like a bitch. Thank you Kazuma!"

Damien and Kazu laughed in sync, the blonde could hear his voice carrying across the empty yard, it felt like he hadn't laughed in months - too caught up with Ikki and his paranoia about the whole situation to take time out to relax. He hadn't hung out properly in weeks either, school work, training and trying to be with Ikki every waking moment kind of made it difficult.

"Well it wasn't me who decided to live with the guy." Kazu nudged the older teen, Damien merely rolled his eyes.

"I'm guessing that was your lunch bell?"

Kazu laughed again. "Surely your not that old to have forgotten what the bell sounds like, Damien?"

"Fuck off, I was going to ask you if you wanted to grab lunch, seeing as you're going to be a prick about it, I'm only a couple of years older than you, you know that?" He turned as if to go but Kazu grabbed his sweatshirt and pulled him back round.

"Enough years to justify calling Sano a perv." The blonde commented, pulling Damien into a walk besides him and heading for the cafeteria. "You actually got money today?"

* * *

Ikki suddenly really wanted to talk to Kazu, he really wanted to know who the guy he was with was and why he hadn't bothered showing up all morning, nosy or not he felt like it was his right to be informed on such matters. Something that hadn't previously been weighing to much on his mind now felt urgent and as he left the classroom he felt himself jogging to the cafeteria and praying that the blonde would be there, preferably alone.

He reached the main doors to cross the yard, swearing under his breath as he noticed a completely different blonde stood waiting for him. Suki. Vaguely he remembered agreeing to the meeting yet now couldn't help but feel angry about it, she was popping up everywhere at the moment and always at the wrong time.

For a second he was tempted to turn round and head round to one of the other exits, she hadn't spotted him, excuses quickly lined themselves up ready to use when the time came but he knew it was stupid. He'd have to face her sooner or later and they were supposedly dating now. It was ridiculous to be fed up with a chick so quickly, she was stunning.

Sighing he took a deep breath and went outside, smiling as best he could when she spotted him and came over. "Hey Suki." She kissed him lightly on the lips as she greeted him back, taking his hand and pulling him in the direction of the cafeteria. He wanted to go and find Kazu but not with the basic topic of their argument attached to his arm.

"…So I'm off with Yayoi shopping after school, there's a small group going and although she said just girls I'm thinking maybe you should tag along?"

Ikki looked down at the blonde and smiled weakly, he'd liked the whole kissing and attention she'd been giving him but the idea of putting any actual effort into this relationship hadn't been even remotely considered. He'd supposed she'd just tag on to the team and they'd hang out at practices and school, going shopping with a load of chicks was painful to even think about.

She was looking at him expectantly, her smile turning rather strained as the seconds of silence ticked by.

"Erm…" Ikki's list of excuses had run dry in his mind. "Shopping's not really my thing, sorry." He shrugged uselessly.

Pulling him to a stop she glared. "AT's aren't really my thing yet I've still come and watched you for the last month, I'll pretend to be interested in things you like if you do the same for me." Her voice had that disconcerting evil side tone that could have implied many a threat had he read further into it, it was a habit most girls seemed to have that could scare the toughest of men. "We're meeting outside Emiri's house at four o'clock." She looked at him as though contemplating. "And don't wear your skating shoe things, the mall banned them."

They began walking again, fingers still laced yet Ikki's palms now sweaty as he struggled to find anything to say. He was sure the Suki he'd been following around before the kiss was a completely different person, this one was mean, the one before had liked his Air Treks and had definitely known what they were called.

The entered the cafeteria and she waved over at a group of her friends from the year below theirs, Ikki blushed as she waved their laced hands in the air, making the point of them being together known to anyone who looked over.

Sighing he let his eyes scan the hall, as ever easy to find Kazu's blonde hair stood out like a lighthouse against all the darker haired teens, he was right at the other side of the hall and seemingly hadn't noticed Ikki's arrival.

He frowned as he noticed that the blonde was still with the guy he'd walked across the yard with, again in conversation with each other as they picked at their lunches. It seemed so odd to see Kazu talking to anyone other than the team, he was usually reserved and didn't like to stray to far from them yet since yesterday he'd gone off in a world of his own. The niggling feeling of recognition still there really annoyed the crow, he was pretty certain the guy didn't go to school here, he looked to old and wasn't even in uniform. Yet other than races they'd had he couldn't think where else he'd recognise him from.

Ikki had followed Suki over to grab some lunch, he took a tray and rather aimlessly started picking things up and loading it, eyes flicking over at the table at the far end of the hall. He paid but stopped before following Suki to sit with her friends.

"I'll just be a minute, save me a seat?"

She nodded and headed off, her eyes catching Ikki's target and scowling. Despite Kazu being Ikki's supposed best friend he was not her favourite person.

* * *

**Ikki and Kazu conversation anyone? **  
**Review please ;)**


	8. Don't Speak

**I'm useless, I know. I was really trying to get a chapter a week but I've had so much work on that it just hasn't happened, I'll try and get another chapter up soon. If you're watching please review as it spurs me on, I know I have more watchers than reviews so... do the deed ;) **

* * *

As much as Kazu would have liked to have said he hadn't seen Ikki enter the cafeteria, it would have been a lie. As ever he was all to aware of the crow's presence and was trying to disguise the fact by trying, and failing miserably, to continue his conversation with Damien. Maybe it was his grinding teeth that did it, as from the corner of his eye he made out the blonde hair and pale skin of Suki putting on her usual performance to impress the crow. Maybe it was the way he took in a deep breath as though about to dive beneath water, Ikki always seemed to pull him right under and at the moment he felt like he was drowning. Caught in a moment that wouldn't seem to pass, his mind like an old VHS constantly skipping back to the kiss. Old video footage again, and again, and again…

Damien sighed sending a red tinge to Kazu's face as he realised he'd switched off, it was something he found himself doing far to readily when Ikki was close, as long as he'd known the crow he had been the centre of Kazu's universe and when close everything else became insignificant and dull.

"Sorry." Kazu muttered uselessly. "Don't know where I was then."

He sighed, rubbing his eyes to clear the images behind his lids and turned back to Damien, mind wheeling as he tried to remember what the heck they'd been talking about.

"AT wheels. Shops. Tonight." Damien filled in, a slight smirk on his face in response to the shocked look on the blonde. "You know you're a lot like Sano in so many ways."

"Fuck off!" Kazu went bright red, offence biting back before the question. "How the hell am I like Sano?"

Damien leant back in the plastic cafeteria chair, enjoying the look on Kazu's face before his eyes flickered deliberately over to Ikki and then back to the younger teen.

"Sano is just as easy to read, when he likes someone that is." He nodded towards the crow who was slowly making his way over looking extremely uncomfortable. Kazu squirmed, mouth forming words that couldn't quite form. "Don't worry, it doesn't bother me." Damien laughed and stood, a hand on the blondes shoulder as he leant in to whisper in an ear. "I'm amazed Sano didn't see this sooner because I sure did and I didn't even know you. Tonight. Six o'clock. Don't forget!"

As Damien strolled away chucking to himself Kazu tried uselessly to bring his skin back down to a more bearable temperature. He was sure his ears were frying against his head, was he really that easy to read? How come no one else had said anything…

To be fair a lot of people didn't know about Sano's preferences and Kazu knew they were a damn site more obvious, maybe living with the clock made Damien that bit more responsive to such signals.

He sighed as Ikki finally got to the table, standing awkwardly opposite the blonde, for a moment watching Damien disappearing - a subtle smile playing across his features momentarily before sliding into a chair and face going a tad pale. He almost looked worried.

"What happened?" Kazu leant over, heart fluttering in worry - he hadn't seen Ikki like that since they lost their last battle. "Another team? What is it?"

It had been quiet on the AT front for a while now, with most of the teams being of school or college age there had been a lull in activity as exams approached. It was a welcomed break but everyone knew that it would be the calm before the storm, things never went as you would like and this would be the perfect time for something as frustrating as a new team to come along.

Ikki blinked in confusion, stumped for words before grinning widely and shaking his head.

"Nope. Not another team." He sighed and looked around the cafeteria, eyes watching people paying for their lunches for a minute.

Kazu's head was trying to think through what could have caused the Crow to be so pale and so quiet, if it wasn't a team… Exams? They hadn't even taken any yet and he'd have been shocked if the Crow had suddenly decided to pay them interest. Ringo? Maybe he was in trouble again, though that wasn't unusual so it would take one huge mess up to cause issue.

"What is it then?" He gave up trying to reason, a nudge of anger trying to push its way in as Ikki continued to watch the lunch line. "Ikki?"

"Huh?" The crow turned back, a familiar clueless expression plastered across his face.

"What is it?"

"What's what?" He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, confused. "What you in about? Nothing's the matter."

Kazu growled and stood to leave. "Fine. Whatever."

Ikki seemed to wake up now and pulled the blonde back down by his sleeve, chewing his lip and leaning forward awkwardly, chewing other words before deciding what to say. "Don't… stay there ok? We need to talk." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked to Kazu for help but Kazu sure as hell wasn't going to offer help on this one. If Ikki had wanted to talk he could have come over when everything had gotten so out of hand, he could have rang when Kazu hadn't turned up, could have email… he hadn't and to Kazu that seemed to make the crow's feelings pretty damn obvious.

He blatantly didn't care.

Kazu sat back and folded his arms over himself, deciding to play Ikki at his own game in taking an interest in the rest of the cafeteria. It was making Ikki fidgety and awkward, it was hard not to laugh at his pitiful attempt of trying to "fix things".

"Erm…" The crow drummed his fingers on the table for a moment. "Are we…" He screwed his eyes up, going red with embarrassment. "We're still mates right?"

"My God Ikki if you're going to ask me advice on your other blonde problem then I'm off, I'm not getting involved. Can't believe you'd even ask…"

"No!" Ikki's eyes went wide and he shook his head. "No I mean are you and me good? Cause… I don't like it when we're not."

"Huh?" Kazu frowned, not quite understanding the direction this was taking. "Are you asking me if everything is back to _normal_?" He growled the last bit.

"Well, I know I screwed up and I owe you such a huge apology but you're my best mate and things need to be good between us…" He searched out Kazu's eyes and for a moment Kazu thought he was going to get a meaningful moment with the crow, then of course the crow's big mouth ruined it. "For the team."

Kazu sat back and laughed, of all the things in the world to come out with to supposably make things _better _between them. He should have expected it, it was almost embarrassing that he'd found himself lost once more in whatever Ikki said, expecting everything to be perfect.

"Screw you Ikki." The blonde stood now, shaking off Ikki's hand as he tried to pull the blonde back once more. "You did screw up and for some reason you just keep doing it, things aren't good between us and don't ask me why because you fucking know why." Kazu looked down at the pathetic look on the crow's face, angry at the constant confusion that lay there over the situation between the two. "You don't have to be happy with what happened but I wish you'd just grow some balls and tell me rather than trying to ignore the entire thing." He leant over so their faces were inches apart. "We kissed, you can't even acknowledge that it happened… it's pathetic."

With that he turned and headed out of the cafeteria. The idea of spending the second half of the day with the crow furiously crossing his mind.


	9. Enough Is Enough

Hey! Thanks for the lovely reviews and for keeping with this despite my ridicliously long breaks between chapters.  
I work as an artist and just signed up to a new gallery so have had a tonne of work on, I'm absolutely knackered so not much free time for writing. I've just got a bit of time off between commissions so thought I'd take the oppotunity to add a longer chapter, as the Churchill advert would say "ooooh yes!" (Apologies to non British who that will make no sense to whatsoever).  
I'm taking this rare spot of time off to go to the dogs tonight, my lad should be racing but he got his card marked for messing about so he's having a nice early retirement eating sausages and refusing to run unless a cat is involved *rolls eyes*  
Anyway you don't want to hear my life story, here's another chapter. Please R&R!

G x

* * *

Kazu let himself sink onto his bed, kicking off his shoes and letting his eyes close for a moment as he let out a long sigh. Leaning back he reached to the nightstand where his small CD player stood, switching it to the familiar radio station it was tuned into, turning up the volume despite the fact that the song currently playing was one he particularly didn't care for. He just wanted the noise to blare out the day and hopefully the oncoming headache that threatened. Stress headaches were always the worse.

He hadn't been particularly stressed shopping with Damien yet it was still shopping, something he could never quite understand peoples liking for - especially when it came to clothes. True, he'd often found himself online for hours at a time searching for new trainers or a hoody or hat he particularly wanted, but dealing with the hustle of the shops and how hot they got… it just didn't seem the kind of thing to get you excited. He wanted to go in, pick up what he wanted, and leave. Simple as.

Today it was new wheels for his AT's, his old ones were threatening to turn square if he rode on them any further, so push came to shove and he found himself trawling through a ridiculous amount of options trying to weed out the best for him. As each rider rode their own technique when it came to skating the market for different types had grown massively in the last year, ball bearings and different types of plastic and metal dominating the competition and creating an endless option. Even the cavemen who had invented the wheel would have been amazed. There were shops surfacing that sold nothing BUT wheels!

It wasn't really shopping he was annoyed with, hanging out with Damien kept his mind off the one thousand things he'd happily forget, it was not hanging out with Damien that brought them all crashing back into his mind to tackle head on.

Ayaka hadn't exactly been over the moon when he'd finally turned up home at nearly ten at night, a long conversation about responsibilities and what mom and dad would have said had been a pretty obvious event in the pipeline. Kazu knew he deserved it, Ayaka shouldn't have been effected by the blondes silly problems and he knew he was beginning to really stress her. She had enough on her plate to worry about her younger brother going AWOL.

It scared him how observant girls seemed to be sometimes, she knew his issues were majorly effected by the sudden lack of appearances by the crow, the blonde was usually over at his place ninety percent of the time or vice versa, the sudden halt was probably a lot more obvious than Kazu would care for.

Ayaka was worried about him, she stressed this more by the day, going out of her way to make him proper meals instead of leaving him to his own devices of grabbing whatever was in the cupboard. She was leaving him notes with smiley faces and kisses, asking him to ring mom and dad and questioning him about school and the team. Not to get him wrong, she was there for him whenever he needed her in the past but this level of commitment was something altogether new and if he was honest, quite welcomed.

Avoiding Ikki often meant avoiding his other friends, he wasn't as close to them as the crow so even if they weren't with the taller teen they'd usually be busy doing their own thing. Kazu wasn't someone who was going to trail after people just to feel like her belonged.

He sighed loudly and rubbed his eyes, lately his head seemed to be doing too much and he could never seem to switch off, even before the problems with Ikki he'd been finding it hard keeping up with school work and everything that seemed to be going on. The blonde wouldn't have minded a bank holiday or a snow day to pop up just to give himself time to catch up with everything.

Eyeing his desk which was currently overflowing with text books, paper and sticky notes he growled inwardly, he needed to be concentrating on work, not the crow and not ways of avoiding his issues altogether. Hanging with Damien was great for distracting himself from it all but it didn't make the pile of work or revision any smaller and it certainly didn't make the issues he had with Ikki go away.

He'd have to sort it, not just the work but Ikki and what the hell he was going to do. He was so angry with the crow and so frustrated that the teen hadn't really put any effort into making things better, but feeling like that wasn't going to make Kazu feel better. No, it made him feel like shit.

It was late and Ayaka probably wouldn't be too impressed but she didn't understand the whole situation like he did, she didn't understand the necessity to get this huge overhanging issue dealt with before it completely ruined everything else. She sure as hell wouldn't be impressed if it led to him failing all of his exams.

Without bothering with his AT's - they still needed the new wheel - Kazu grabbed his coat and shrugged it back on, pulling his beanie over his head and taking a deep breath.

Screw Ikki, this was going to get sorted whether he liked it or not.

* * *

Ikki lay sprawled on the sofa, TV blaring nonsense whilst his headphones blasted into his ears. Screw his carbon footprint, his eyes got bored if it was just music and his ears got bored with the TV ranting nonsense at him. Genius really.

He was humming along knowing full well he was currently driving the rest of the household mad, sympathising in turning the TV down one sound level before continuing his crusade against boredom. It might have been late but he was finding it hard to switch off so had put all of his attention into switching anything he could find ON.

Suddenly he felt his hair being yanked back and looked up to see Ringo hovering over him saying something, he spared one ear and frowned.

"Come again?"

She looked so pissed off, eyes glaring and probably on the verge of doing something a lot worse than just pulling the crow's hair.

"Kazu's been stood at the door knocking for the last ten minutes, care to explain how you didn't hear?"

He blanched, pulling the headphones off completely and grabbing the remote to turn off the TV. Jeez, how bad did he look? Probably looked like he was ignoring the kid!

Spinning round he saw the blonde stood in the doorway looking awkward and not meeting his eyes, he shuffled from foot to foot and pulled his coat further round himself despite the fact that the house was toasty warm.

"Erm…" Ikki sent a sympathy look to Ringo, eyes pleading for some help. "Music was on and TV was…"

"I know!" Ringo growled, eyes turning to slits and she swore under her breath. "I bloody know…" She turned and strode out the room leaving the two boys standing uncomfortably and looking thoroughly lost.

Kazu spoke quickly, eyes darting up and glaring at Ikki, the anger he'd held since the other day still just as apparent.

"We need to sort things out, I just need…" He took a deep breath and spoke quickly. "I need to know what the hell happened between us and I need to know what you've been thinking, cause I sure as hell can't figure it out and it's driving me insane seeing you act like nothing's fucking happened!"

Ikki glared, mouth trying to form words and failing miserably. Surprised at how up front the blonde was being and how he'd got that all out without backing down or running away. This wasn't the Kazu Ikki knew, it was almost scary how unfamiliar it was. In the last few weeks their friendship had taken a severe battering.

"You're really pissed, huh?" He didn't wait to see the look on the blonde's face, letting himself flop back onto the sofa and trying to slow his thoughts down to something that could make his words clear. "Jeez, I don't know what to fucking say Kaz… I don't know what the fucks going on and it scares me stupid." He glanced over the arm rest at Kazu, the smaller boy was still stood in the doorway looking white faced and nervous, eyes wide as he took in the crows words.

"What do you mean you don't know?" He muttered, taking a step forward before stopping himself. "Don't know what?"

Ikki hated conversations like this, not that there'd ever been one quite like this one but the awkwardness of explaining something that made you wish the ground would open up and swallow you was not a great feeling.

"I don't know what's going on in my head and I don't know how to tell you what's going on… cause I don't know!" Did that even make sense? Damn. At least there weren't onlookers, he'd been scared stupid wondering when the blonde would finally snap and preferred it to be somewhere he could try and keep his idiocy to a minimum. "After what happened… erm… with you and me."

His eyes locked with Kazu's to check he was following, the blonde offered a nod to continue.

"Well… I didn't expect it but it wasn't… bad… but then Suki and everything and… I don't fucking know what happened! I don't know how the fuck to make it right and everything that comes out of my mouth seems to make you hate me even more than you obviously already do!"

Deep breath, his heart was actually pounding in his chest now. A sickly feeling building in his throat as he dreaded how his best friend would react.

"I don't hate you."

Huh?

"Eh?"

The blonde took another step forward and looked down at Ikki from the end of the sofa. "I said I don't hate you. I do however hate what you're doing."

"How'd you mean?" Ikki sat up so that they were closer, Kazu's face had softened slightly.

"You and all of this Suki shit! Do you honestly like her? Other than the fact that she's probably the best looking girl in the school, you honestly like her?"

Ikki didn't need a moment to think, course he didn't, she drove him mad and the moment he finally got away from her she was stalking him via text. She was probably the most annoying person he'd ever met. Of course answer Kazu would require more tactile thinking… which Ikki didn't have access to.

"Erm… well…" He screwed up his face and sent a begging look to Kazu hoping to hell it didn't have the same effect as the one he'd sent Ringo. "Can we just say that it's not going to be going on much longer?" Breaking up with Suki, this could be his death warrant but it was that or put up with girly shopping trips and incessant whining. Kazu didn't reply, he just gave that long hard stare that was one familiarity in a sea of difference. "No. I don't like her."

Kazu sighed and finally let himself relax, sinking down onto the sofa and looking like a huge weight had been lifted from his chest, picking up the TV remote and flicking it back on as the crow stared at him in bewilderment.

Well the kid was strange, there was no doubt about that. Maybe it was why the had always been best friends.

"So…" Ikki grabbed the controls off the blonde and started flicking. "What's happening?"


End file.
